


I Want It All (But I Want You Most of All)

by QueenoftheWallflowers



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Clarke Griffin & Roan Friendship, F/M, Misunderstandings, Roan/Luna - Freeform, Sewing, Wedding Planning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-31
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:34:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,867
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28458372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenoftheWallflowers/pseuds/QueenoftheWallflowers
Summary: Clarke has dreamed of creating her very own line and when the opprtunity comes up, she's determined to make it hers... There's just one problem, she's single, childless and despite the fact that she's over qualified, Nia wants to give the oppturnity to Raven Reyes, Clarke's former friend, who is newly married and therefore more qualified.Roan tells her to work on her designs and to leave his mother to him.So she goes home, to the place it all began.Back to her ex Bellamy, who looks even better and to her surprise is still single... and they fall back into old habits.He takes a bit of conviving but he's willing to let her use his daughter, Madi to be the model for her line.But will an ill-hatches scheme ruin it all?
Relationships: Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin
Comments: 8
Kudos: 36
Collections: Bellarke-Mas Secret Santa





	I Want It All (But I Want You Most of All)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [TheatreSteph](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheatreSteph/gifts).



> Hey love! So I'm your Secret Fic Santa,  
> Thank you for being a part of my life  
> I hope you enjoyed this, this was so much fun to write!
> 
> I nothing about fashion despite my best friend going to Paris for school there. But I know a lot about sewing and a lot about Bellarke so please suspend all belief in that I know anything about designs, fashion, etc. if you are a fashion major, please feel free to yell at me and teach me cause it would be nice to learn.  
> Enjoy.

"I need a boyfriend- no a husband. A wife. Someone"

She collapses onto the bed and screams into the covers before propping herself up onto her elbows.

"I don't suppose you would marry me?"

"As his fiance I have to say no."

Roan chuckles, amused and pulls Luna onto his lap.

"So why do you need ..."

"Clarke groans and rolls over to sit up to face them.

"Your mother is the reason why."

"What did she do now?"

"This woman, Charmaine, apparently she's looking to sponsor a design, she wants a kid's clothing line. And you have seen my sketch book, this is a dream come true. I have worked on kids clothes back when I was in high school. This is literally my dream, so I went to tell your mother that I was interest and she said that the line isn't looking for someone like me."

Luna snorts, "Someone like you? How are you not what they want? You are one of the best designers in the company."

"Nia wants someone more maternal to be up for consideration. She wants Raven."

"Raven's married, she's not a mother yet."

"The only other married couple we have is Gaia and Anya and their specialty is formal wear."

"Raven doesn't even do kids clothes, she does professional wear when she's not stealing your designs."

Clarke falls back onto the bed.

"This is my dream and it's literally going to be stolen by her."

Clarke grew up with color, her earliest memories involve bright splashes of color. She grew up with paint on her fingers and drawings on her father's wall, Jake Griffin proud to display her drawings, launching into explanations when his students asked about it. She took art classes, learning how to paint and sketch. Her hands were dark, stained with characol, paint under her nails.

She loved it, Abby hated it. Abby wanted Clarke to go into medicine but no matter how many lab coats she brought home and no matter how many toy stephescopes she got Clarke, Clarke would always always go for her paints, her sketch book. 

But it wasn’t until she met the Blakes that it clicked for her.

She met Octavia Blake first, when she was seven, Dax an older kid had been making fun of five year old Octavia for her dirty sneakers so Clarke hit him. She of course got in trouble and it got her a best friend. She met Bellamy Blake an hour when the nine year old boy came dashing into the office going straight to his sister. He has scowled at her, yelling at her for making Octavia cry until his sister told him that Clarke had defended her. He had apoligized but the two were not goign to be friends anytime soon. 

Then two years later, she met Aurora Blake.

Bellamy and Octavia waited with her for about half an hour before Bellamy grabbed her hand and Octavia’s.

“Where are we going?”

“Home, you call your parents there. It’s going to rain.”

Bellamy was right they got to his house soaking wet.

Aurora Blake was a pretty woman, she looked a lot like Octavia- long straight dark hair, slender body. 

She was also an artist- of a different kind. She was a seamtress working in the shop downstairs, reparing rips and tears and sewing buttons back on. In her spare time she made clothes for Octavia and Bellamy and the occasional dress for a client.

Clarke still remembers the day- she sat there in the Blake living room, math book in front of her, watching Aurora Blake sew.

She watched the older woman pull pins out of her mouth, gently pinning the fabric around Bellamy.

Bellamy seemed embarrassed that his mother was using him as a mannequin but Clarke was fascinated. This was a different type of art, a new art. She finished her work quickly and then watched Aurora, asking her questions, the older woman patient enough to answer her.

She had gone home and begged her father for a sewing machine, Jake Griffin not being able to say no to his daughter had gotten her one for Christmas much to Abby's displeasure. 

Clarke was thrilled. 

For about three months.

A couple of crooked doll dresses later and then her sewing machine stayed off until she was fifteen. 

Wh,en she was fifteen there had been a huge snowstorm no one was leaving their homes and bored, Clarke turned on her sewing machine. 

A few hours later and a couple of YouTube tutorials and she had a small dress fit for a doll. 

She then tore apart an old t-shirt and made it into a bag that broke after a couple uses but she fixed, making sure to back stitch to reinforce it. 

She stayed up later that night, looking at other patterns, her brain whirling at what type of fabric she would need and how she wanted to look, what she wanted to make. She didn't have the skills yet but she did have the ideas. 

She spent all of winter break on her machine, making doll clothes, making reusable bags for herself and sketching ideas she had.

As soon as the weather was better, Clarke had gone to the Blake house to ask Aurora for a favor.

"I will pay you to teach me how to sew."

Aurora looked at her for a few seconds while Bellamy scowled in the background before she agreed. Of course, Bellamy had an issue with that. He went on and on about how Aurora had too much on her plate to teach the princess how to sew especially when Clarke would give up the hobby before spring break, that of course caused an argument between Bellamy and Clarke to break out. 

"Fine, then Bellamy you will teach Clarke, you know enough to teach her the basics then some, and you know we need the money."

Bellamy's shoulder had slumpt and Clarke, despite how wanting to be taught by Bellamy agreed. 

Sewing lessons between the two had turned into something more, they slowly became best friends and then more, sneaking kisses in between projects, his hands sliding over the material of the skirt she made, to under it and Clarke found herself in love with him and him with her. They were happy, really happy for three years. Bellamy was attending school nearby, helping his mother with her sewing and working at a bar. She was sewing costumes for the drama department and helping Aurora. Then she got accepted into school in Paris for fashion. 

And Bellamy insisted that she go and so she went, leaving a part of her heart with him in Arkadia. 

She had flourished in Paris, surrounded by other art students, and fabrics and the hum of sewing machines and it distracted her from the ache of missing Bellamy for a bit. 

She worked her way up from fetching coffee to late night bent over the table, pinning fabric together to long hours hand-stitching and pouring over her books. She made friends with fellow designers and models and other art students. 

After graduation, she had caught the eye of Azgeda's Designs and was hired. 

Nia was more cutthroat than everyone, it didn't matter how good you designs was, what mattered to Nia was the designer and she played them all against each other but despite that, she made good friends with them all.

Until Raven and Finn. 

She had met Finn first, falling for his kind smile and silly pick up lines. She had no idea he was her new co-worker's boyfriend, not until the company party was Finn was there, his arm around Raven.

Finn has been so surprise and had chased after all, begging her to listen to him that he loved her. Raven had followed and it had turned into a screaming match- Raven dumping Finn and Clarke being shunned by most of the company. 

But she had made a promise to herself- she was here to design not to let Raven's opinion affect her. So that's what she did, she made drafts for dresses and shirts, worked with models and photographers and gritted her teeth when Raven appeared with a design familiar to hers but not so much that Nia could tell. 

She and Raven were locked into a silent battle for the next three years and when Raven married Wick, Clarke finally got a break. 

With Raven on her honeymoon Clarke was given the chance to design a wedding dress for Josephine Lightbourne. The two girl had been both friends and rivals in Paris until they realized how good they worked together. Their final project had been to design a dress and the two of them had the best design.

So when Gabriel finally proposed, Josie reached out to her and the two of them sat in her studio and designed her dress, Clarke spent hours and hours hand stitching beads to Josie's veil and gently pinning the silk for Josie's dress- a soft gentle pink. It had been enough to catch Nia's eyes and a few magazine's eyes when Josephine Lightbourne showed up to her wedding in a show stopping light pink dress that was both soft and sexy. Clarke had beamed with pride as her friend said her vows and at how Gabriel at looked at Josie in her dress. 

But despite her success with the dress and the offers from other companies, Nia didn't give Clarke a chance to do more. And Clarke had stupidly, sighed a ten year contract, she had two more years and no money to break it. She was able to do some freelance so that was a help.

This line of kid's clothing would be a big break. 

Roan and Luna climb onto the bed next to her, surrounding her and Clarke's heart swells. She's thankful for them. She didn't think the son of her boss would become one of her best friend but he had as had his fiance. Roan was a photographer and in between flirting during photo shoots, they had become real friends. Luna was a model, and she was Clarke's favorite model to work with. 

"Look, I'll talk to my mother... See what I can do."

Luna brushes some hair off her face and looks at Clarke.

"You focus on your designs, let Roan work on Nia, I would offer to model but..."

"Not exactly the demographic I'm looking for..."

"What do I have to do to get you to consider me for the line?"

Nia doesn't bother to look up from her papers, "I told you, they want someone more maternal, more married to appeal to the people buying the clothes."

"So I get my partner to marry me..."

Nia sighs and looks up at Clarke, "Yes, if you can do that and give me your designs, I'll submit them."

Clarke nods, her mind whirling at what she can do.

"In that case, I'm submitting my request to take take some off. I have a lot of sick days and vacation days saved up, about three month's worth."

"Why on earth are you taking time off?"

Clarke places her hands on Nia's desk, feeling confident for someone who is lying through her teeth.

"I'm going to see my partner, I can't expect them to propose to me while I'm here and they live somewhere else."

"I didn't know you were seeing someone..."

"I wanted to keep it quiet, private."

Clarke leaves her office and starts to pack her things up. 

Where can she go? 

She looks at her space, eyes on a framed picture. It's her with her father and the Blakes, all of them smiling at her graduation. She and Bellamy are looking at each other and Clarke suddenly wants nothing more than to hug him.

She books a ticket to Arkadia, she hasn't been home since her father's funeral four years ago. Bellamy had been there. He has presses a kiss to her cheek and that was the last time she saw him. 

"Madeline Elizabeth Blake! You are going to be late!"

He hears the sound of feet pounding and barking and he sighs as Madi and Picasso run to him.

"Do I have to go?"

"Yes, school is important."

"But it's your birthday! Wanna stay."

He bends down to put her shoes on and boops her nose, "Can't baby girl, you need to go to school and I have to go to work."

They leaves the house hand in hand Picasso's leash in his hand as they walk Madi to school. He waves goodbye to her and then makes his way to Murphy's resturant, his breakfast waiting for him. 

He's turning thirty and the idea is hard to wrap him mind around. He's owns a bookshop and has written a few books. He's carved himself a nice niche- a Bisexual Half Filipino man writing young adult and historical romances. He's got a beautiful five year old daughter, Madi- the result of a one night stand with Bree. Bree didn't want to be a mother but Bellamy had and after a long conversation she signed away her rights and he got Madi, his sweet beautiful girl who is the best thing in his life. He's happy despite what everyone thinks.

He doesn't need a partner, he and Madi are fine. He's been in love once and he's never fallen for anyone the way he did with Clarke. 

He's fine.

Clarke's living her best life, she's going to conquer the fashion world, he couldn't be prouder... but he misses her a lot. 

He heads to the bookstore after breakfast and birthday kisses form Murphy and Emori the two of them singing happy birthday as they shove a candle into his pancakes both of them pressing their lips to his cheeks just as someone snaps the picture. 

Picasso immediatly heads to her corner and Bellamy hears the squeaking on the toy. 

He's putting some new books on the shelf when the bell rings.

"I'll be there in a minute."

"Bellamy?"

He nearly falls off the ladder. He scrambles down to find Clarke kneeling on the ground petting Picasso a smile on her lip.

She looks beautiful, her hair longer, pulled into a simple braid, she's dressed in black jeans, a pair of red heels and a lacy red top that draws his eyes to the top of her breasts. She looks gorgeous and utterly out of his league.

She looks up and smiles widely when she sees him.

"Hey Bellamy."

"Hey Princess."

The old nicknames slips past his lips and then she's in his arms and he's holding her close to him. 

She buries her head into the crook of his neck, her lips on his skin and he presses his to her hair. 

She looks like a supermodel but her hugs is still the same and she still smells the same- like apples.

They hug for what is probably an inappriopiate amount of time for two exes who haven't seen each other in years to be hugging but neither are in a hurry to let go.

Picasso barking is what gets him to let go and he steps back, running a hand through his hair.

"What are you doing here?"

Clarke wonders briefly if she should tell him about why she's here- she's hiding and trying to figure out how to get married within the next few months but decided not to, it sounds a little pathetic.

"I needed some inspiration and what better place to get it than here, where it all began?"

Bellamy's eyes are sad but he squeezes her hand.

"Mom would have been proud of you."

Clarke feels a stab of guilt, she had been in Paris when Aurora died, in the midst of her final and then she got the job. She had called Bellamy and sent flowers but it seems so impersonal for the woman she owes her career too.

"I'm sorry I wasn't here."

"You're flowers were beautiful... So tell me more about what you are designing."

Clarke sets on the counter and suddenly it's like she is seventeen again and he has to stop himself tugging her in for a kiss.

"I'm hoping to be picked for a line of kid's clothing."

"Like toddler? Baby?"

"I want to do it all, just to cover myself."

"What are you thinking?"

"I have a few ideas but not enough for a whole line, I was sketching on the plane but I don't know. Luckily, I have a few months to figure it out."

She tells him a bit about the the wedding dress she made and Bellamy is glad that his back it to her so she doesn't see the look of pain on his face. He has always hoped that his mother would help his wife make her wedding dress and he had always hoped that he would marry Clarke.

"Anyway, I need to find a model since Luna can't help obviously and then I need Roan's magic touch of course."

Bellamy grips the ladder tightly, he shouldn't be jealous. He moved on and has a daughter, Clarke moved on to Roan and his magic fingers who fits into her world perfect.

"Roan your boyfriend?"

"No! He's just a friend."

He was once just a friend.

* * *

Clarke's got a vague idea but nothing other that. She thinks of what kind of dresses she would love when she was younger- bright colors but not just pink, pockets.

Pockets. 

Once she learned to sew, she started sewing pockets onto her dresses because she was didn't see the need to carry a huge purse for her lipstick and credit card.

She thinks of her and Octavia carrying rocks and pinecones in their hands for their fairy house. She thinks of this bright green dress that Aurora made, with little hand embroidered ladybugs on the white collar, it was Octavia's favorite dress.

She thinks of her favorite books when she was younger, Bellamy catching the fireflies when he was eighteen, the glee of his face.

She jots some ideas down, her mind spinning. 

She visits different places around Arkadia, seeing old friends, but her favorite place is Bellamy's bookstore. 

She hears people coming and going from the store and she's aware of Bellamy putting a sandwich in front of hair but she's thinking of the material she needs- cotton, thread for the embriodery, some lace, bright colors, patterns.

She gets up a couple times to stretch and look at the books Bellamy has, letting her fingers run down their spines.

She and Bellamy will talk in between customers and its perfect. He's cute and funny and still gives the best hugs in the world.

Honestly, there's a part of Clarke that still love him, a part of her that never got over him and a part of her that was searching and wanting Bellamy even when she was with Finn and Lexa and Niylah and Cillain and Gaia.

Bellamy had a read-out-loud on Saturday mornings, he enjoys it. It give people the chance to come in relax, browse while he reads to the kids. While he reads, Emori normally pops in to man the register. 

Bellamy invites Clarke to come on Sunday, he tells there will be a lot of kids, and parents and maybe it will help. Clarke agrees but in full honesty, a car could drive though the store and she would still be focused on Bellamy. She knows that Bellamy is good with kids but seeing him read, hearing his voice deeper or higher is does something to her. She leans against a bookshelf listening to him read.

He catches her eyes a couple times grinning at her and Clarke's sure that she's blushing like a school girl. And she's not the only one. There are plenty of women and men looking starry-eyed at Bellamy. But as soon as story time is over, she's the one he zooms toward.

"What did you think?"

She tucks a hair behind her ear. "You're really good at that. The kids love you."

"Daddy!"

Clarke's eyes widen and she looks down to where a small girl is hugging Bellamy's leg.

"Hey love bug."

He picks her up and the girl looks at Clarke, a confused look on her face.

"Madi, this is my friend Clarke. Can you say hi?"

Madi to his surprise tucks her head into his neck and mumbles into his neck.

"What's that?"

"Pretty?"

Bellamy flashes Clarke a smile, running a hand down Madi's back.

"Yeah, she is pretty."

"Like a princess."

"Pretty like a princess. Sorry, she's normally not this shy."

Madi peeks at Clarke through her eyelashes, a tight grip on her father's shirt.

"Hey princess, wow you look so pretty. I like your dress."

"It was Tita O's dress. Lola made it."

"I remember that dress, Aur- I mean Lola made a lot of pretty dresses."

"Did she make you a pretty dress?"

Clarke thinks back to the prom dress that she and Aurora had spent months on, she had done most of the work but Aurora had helped.

"Yeah she did."

Madi smiles at her, and then to both Clarke and Bellamy's surprise she asks "Will you read me a story?"

Bellamy puts her down and Madi tugs on Clarke's hand until they are curled up in an armchair, a big book on Madi's lap. 

He would love nothing more than to watch them but he's got a store to run. 

"She's a natural."

Bellamy hums, he's proud of hismself, he hasn't looked up to watch them every few mintues, only every ten minutes. 

"Clarke's always been good at things."

"Madi really likes her, she doesn't like most of the people you dated."

He slams the register loud and everyone turns to look at them as Emori smirks.

"We are not dating. We are just friends."

"Oh please, you are still in love with her. She's been here less than a week and it's like she's never left. You need to figure out what you want, cause you are not the only one interested."

Bellamy looks up to seeing a man approach Clarke his daughter smiling at them.  
He tells himself that he can't go storming off there and laying a claim on Clarke because she's not his to claim. But as he watches Clarke laugh, tucking some hair behind her ear and he feels a surge of possessive hit him and as he sighs and walks toward them, Emori laughing.

"You don't look familiar."  
Clarke looks up to see a dark skin man in front of her.  
"Neither do you."  
He laughs, "Let me guess, Ark local?"  
"Back for the next few months."  
"What brings you back to town."  
"Work, I needed a change of scenery. I'm an artist."  
"That's cool, my girlfriend likes makes windchimes, sells them at the farmer's market."  
"I'll have to stop by and see."  
"So there is a reason why you have Blake's kid in your lap? Are you Bree?"  
Clarke frowns at the mention of the other woman, well that explains who Madi's mom is.  
"Clarke Griffin."  
"Shaw."  
"Just Shaw?"  
"Yes Ma'am."  
Clarke laughs and Madi giggles, but Shaw's eyes dart up and then someone is pressing a kiss to Madi's hair and then hers.  
"Sorry, ready for lunch?"  
Oh.  
Well that was unexpected.  
Clarke tells herself that it's just a habit, she's got his kid in his lap of course he will kiss her hair.  
"Shaw."  
"Blake, I was just talking to Clarke here, didn't realize she was your girlfriend. Haven't seen her before, her name is familiar though."  
Clarke opens her mouth to correct him but Bellamy beats her to it.  
"Yes, she's my high school sweetheart."  
"How sweet, I guess we know the identity of the mystery princess you dedicate all your books too."  
Clarke's heart starts to pound.  
No way, there's no way that Bellamy is still in love with her.  
It's not possible, it's been more than a decade, he has a child.  
_You are still in love with him too_

Bellamy has the urge to hit Shaw, of all the things he had to say, he had to reveal that he's still in love with Clarke that all his books are not only dedicated to her but that she's the main character of his books.

* * *

"Hey love bug, go with Tita Emori. Clarke and I need to talk."  
She slides off Clarke's lap and scrunches her nose.  
"Are you going to kiss? Cause Tita O calls Mr.Jasper her boyfriend and she kisses him."  
"Maybe, we need to talk okay."  
_Maybe? Maybe_  
Clarke's heart is pounding at the thought of kissing Bellamy again while Bellamy think he's going to be sick, he shouldn't have said maybe.  
Bellamy drags her to his office and slams the door and runs a hand through his hair.  
"Clarke I-"  
"Is it true? Did you really dedicate your books to me?"  
"Clarke I-."  
She steps closer to him, blue eyes dark and intense. She places a hand on Bellamy's arm, she needs to know if he still loves her the way she loves him.  
"Is it true?"  
"Yes I-"  
He's interupted by a pair of lips against his.  
Clarke, Clarke's kissing him.  
He pulls away from her and back her up against the door, his hands slipping under her shirt to feel her soft skin and she gasps into his mouth, her hands sliding up his shoulder and into his hair, tugging on it.  


When they stumble out of the room, Emori cheers when she takes in their messy hair and the way Bellamy's shirt is unbuttoned and the crease in Clarke's skirt.  
"Thank god, John owes me!"  
Bellamy rolls away as he swings an arm around Clarke's shoulder bringing her close so he can kiss her head, "Yeah, yeah. You were right. I still love her and she loves me."  
"What tipped you off? The way every book had a blue eyed girl with artstic ability or the fact that Clarke has been home for a week and she has been here every single day."  


* * *

Clarke isn't sure why she's surprised that she and Bellamy fall back into their relationship likes no time passes. More than a dedcade and he still remembers how she takes her coffee and what side of the bed she sleeps on. When she's not drawing or sewing, she's with Bellamy and Madi.  
She spends her days at the bookstore, getting Bellamy's imput on designs and he helps her with some of the embriodery.

Clarke has never considered herself to be a kid person, she likes them and she wants to have them but Bellamy has always had the magic touch with kids, but Madi? Madi is easy to love, and it surprises Bellamy because Madi has never connected to someone the way she connected to Clarke.  
Clarke is more than happy to play tea party with her or read her a book. And to his biggest surprise, Clarke hasn't changed, Clarke laughs when Picasso gets her muddy paws on her skirt and she ducks under the car hood with him one day helping him change the oil. Madi takes a marker to her sketch book and Clarke studies it and then tickles the girl's stomach praising her, telling her that the streak of color is exactly what was missing.  


Before they know it, Clarke's been home for a month. She's gotten several drafts done and several desigsn drawn.  
Their first and only fight is abotu Madi, she wants to use Madi as her child model for the designs and Bellamy doesn't want her too. He doesn't want Madi's face to be all over the internet and Clarke tries to convince him that only her photographer, her boss, and the sponsor will see them but he won't budge.  
Clarke goes back to her hotel room in anger and Bellamy and Madi curl up to watch a movie not that he pays attention.  
Bellamy's issues isn't with Clarke using Madi it's with the fact that Clarke will be leaving again.  
She's here temporarily, she's going to leave him, leave Madi, leave them both.  
That's the thing, Clarke doesn't talk much about her boss or her life in Azegeda or when she's leaving and Bellamy wants to keep it that way.  
But's its going to be an issues especially because he found his mother's ring in his drawer and all he could think about is how it would look perfect on her finger.

Octavia, Emori, even Murphy thinks its a good idea.  


**T-minus one and half months until the deadline**  
Clarke gets a call from Roan and it shatters the little bubble she has put herself in with Bellamy and Madi.  
"My mother is refusing to budge. You need a ring Clarke or you can kiss that chance, goodbye." She sinks down onto the bed, "What am I going to do? I love Bellamy, I love Madi. I don't want to use them in this way... I don't want to leave here."  
"I know, I know, But if you get this chance, you can probably convinve my mom to let you work from Arkadia, you won't have to come back here." "My contract..." "Has a clause that in case of a family emergency or need that you can work from home." Clarke runs a hand through her hair, "It can't be this easy. I can't get all that I want.." "You can. Clarke you have the the ring, the man, the family and the career, my mother can't take that from you." "Bellamy and I have been together for a month, there is no way he's even thinking of it..." 

* * *

**T-minus 33 days**  
"Do you ever wish that you stayed?"  
Clarke puts her wine glass down and shrugs, "I love my job but I missed everyone. My only friends are Roan and Luna and Anya when I convince her to get drinks with me. I like it hear, I love my job but I don't want to go back. It's lonely, cutthroat. This line, this could be my chance, I could work from home."  
"Do you want to stay?"  
She cups his cheek and kisses him softly, "More than anything Bellamy."  
He presses his forehead aganist hers, his breath ragged, "Marry me."  
At the time all Clarke can think about is Bellamy, her life with Bellamy and Madi. Nia, Roan, and her job don't cross her mind until much much later.  
"Yes, yes."  
She slides herself onto his lap, his hands tugging her shirt off her body as she kisses his jaw before pulling his shirt off. He carries her to his- their bedroom, pressing her into the matress, kissing her everywhere, Clarke digging her nails into his skin as he slides into her, her lips skimming his jaw and he moans into her mouth.  
He slides the ring on her finger later that night and its not until Bellamy's asleep that it hits her. She's enganged... her job... her designs.  
She's thrilled, overjoyed. The guilt comes later.  
Bellamy can never find out about Nia's terms. Never.  
The next day, Clarke sends a picture of her ring to Roan, Luna, and Anya. She knows that Anya will tell the others and sure enough she gets texts from everyone- Lexa, Gaia, Roma, Titus, even one from Raven. Nia simply texts her a check mark and Clarke swallows back the guilt.  


It's Bellamy's idea to get married quickly, they have been apart for more than a dedcade why wait and Clarke agrees because she agrees and loves him but because she wants him to know tht she wants him this and that even with her job at Azegeda, he and Madi are her home.  
So they have it al set up, they are getting married after the new year and Clarke's excited, she gets excited as Steve, Bellamy's ex offers to perform the ceremony and others pitch in to help out. Murphy and Emori are on food doing. Roan offers to take pictures, Luna does the seating charts and gets in touch with Octavia who will be her brother's best man, the two coordinating dresses- a soft blue.  
It takes a lot of the pressure off them, Clarke's busy with her designs and planning the wedding and even though she shouldn't she designs her dress.  
To Bellamy's surprise, Shaw tells them of a woman, Dioyza who can make her dress, so one Monday morning, Clarke and Shaw go see her.  


Clarke has never seen a designer like Dioyza, in a pair of combat boots and a slick ponytail she looks more like a commander and less like a wedding dress designer but then Clarke sees her room and she's in awe.  
Mirrors and designs litter the walls, fabric covers the walls.  
Clarke shows Dioyza her sketch and the taller woman whistles, "You designed this?"  
"Yes, Ma'am."  
Before Clarke can stop her she flips through the rest of the book, "You got some talent kid." "Thank you, I work at Azedega."  
She purses her lips, "Good company, Nia's a bitch though."  
She craddled her stomach, "I can have this done in less than a month if we can do measurements and fabric now."  
Ten minutes later, Clarke is measured and going through all the fabrics, she settles on a soft silk and blue ribbon.  
This is all happening so fast that Clarke can hardly believe it.  


**T-minus 15 days**  
Roan and Luna arrive early to help and despite her wishes they want to throw her an engangemnet party on New Year's Eve.  
Bellamy thinks it's a good idea even if its means having to dress up. He loves a chance to see Clarke in a pretty dress.  
Bellamy is happy to learn that Roan is not and never has been Clarke's boyfriend and is happily married to Luna and despite their teasing have no desires to seduce Clarke.  
With them being at Arkadia, Clarke is able to convinve Bellamy to go on a date with her so they go out for dinner. They talk about the wedding, amazed at how fast it's all coming together, how excited Madi is to be a flowergirl. They talk about Madi wearing Clarke's deisgns, Bellamy more open to the idea once he realized that Roan was taking the pictures and that Clarke getting the line meant she could stay. Clarke is so happy with Bellamy that she doesn't even the let the fact that Raven and the others are coming down to the party bother her.  
She and Bellamy tumble into their hotel room, lips attaches fingers working at pulling the other's clothes off.  
Clarke laughs into his neck as he teases her with his fingers but it's not long before she's moaning.  
She props herself up on her elbow and traces the freckles on his cheeks.  
"I love you."  
He rolls ontop of her and nestles his head on her chest and she brushes his hair, "I love you too."  


* * *

**New Years Eve**  
Clarke is a flutter of nerves and she's not sure why.  
Her designs are done, Madi's pictures have been taken, they have all been submitted to Nia, her dress is done, everything is set to go for her and Bellamy's wedding.  
It all feels like a dream, something out of a movie. Who goes home, falls into the arms of the ex boyfriend they still love, and then get enganged to two months later, add in a cute dog and a sweet daughter? It's a fairytale.  
Clarke smoothes her dress, it's a red dress, flowly but with a high slit that's sure to guarntee Bellamy will be keeping a possessive hand on her.  
She's got nothing to worry out.  


"Wow, you look stunning."  
Clarke laughs into Bellamy's chest. The second he had seen her he had left Raven mid-conversation and had dipped her into a kiss, her hands clunching his shoulder as he pulls hers up.  
Madi and Luca are staying with Diyoza who as seven month's pregnant is going to be doing much. The snarky woman had someone how become a good friend and confidant and a good mentor. Clarke found herself wishing hat Dioyza was her boss instead of Nia.  
She's mid conversation with Anya and Gaia when they fall silent and Bellamy squeezes her waist and Clarke knows who it is, she turns around fake smile.  
"Nia, I didn't know you were coming."  
"Why wouldn't I come to the engangmenet party of my best designer."  
Bellamy presses a kiss to her shoulder, "She's amazing isn't she... she and my mother used to sew together."  
"Bellamy is the one who taught me to use a machine."  
"Only after my mother insisted that I do."  
Nia's eyes flash and she doesn't even smile and Bellamy trails off.  
"Speaking of your designsm I was hoping we could talk."  
Clarke swallows and nods and she kisses Bellamy softly, sweetly.  
She loves him.  


* * *

Bellamy doesn't like Raven, in the past few months Clarke has ranted about her co-worker at lenght and the stuff he has heard is enough for him not to like her.  
So when she places a hand on his arm and smiles at him he's on guard.  
"You know, I didn't think she would pull it off. So tell me Bellamy, how much is she paying you?"  
"Excuse me?"  
"How much is Clarke paying you to marry her?"  
"I love her, she's not paying."  
Bellamy feels anger in his veins, how dare this girl come here and say such a thing, implying that he's a whore and Clarke as a liar.  
Raven scoffs, "So what? She tells you, I need a husband by the new year or I can kiss my designs goodbye and you just what, propose?"  
_Need a husband by the new year_  
No.  
Raven prattles on, not realizing that Bellamy isn't responding, "When I heard Nia tell Clarke that she needed a husband to get her designs through, I thought there is no way Clarke is going to pull this off, but then Anya showed that ring and I had to come and see for myself what kind of man is wiling to marry a woman using him to further her career."  
She smirks when she realizes that Bellamy is no longer next to her and is heading outside to where Nia and Clarke are.  


"I'm quite impressed. You really are fit for this world, you are as cutthroat as me, marrying a man simply to have your designs considered?"  
Clarke balls her fist and resists the urge to punch her.  
"I didn't marry him for the job, I'm marrying him because I love him and he loves me?"  
Nia laugh, and it sounds like ice and it sends chills down her spine.  
"Love, oh honey. This isn't a Hallmark movie, this has no happy ending, I imagine he won't be happy once he finds out."  
"There is nothing to find out. I love Bellamy and that's why we are getting married, my designs are a bonus."  
"You silly girl, am I really supposed to believe that Bellamy and you fell in love just like that."  
"We didn't just fall in love, we never stopped loving each other."  
Nia pats her cheeks condescnendly, "Who are just trying to fool me or yourself? You wanted the designs to be considered so badly you conned a sweet man with a daughter to marry you."  
"Leave Madi out of this!"  
"Does she know? Does he know the truth."  
"Does he know what?"  
Clarke swivels around to look at Bellamy who is looking at her with a heartbroken look on his face. He shakes his head, "Clarke, tell me it's not true."  
"Bell-"  
"Tell me that what Nia said isn't true, that as Raven said isn't true. Tell me that you didn't need a husband by the new year so you designs would be considered."  
Clarke shakes her head trying to hold back her tears. She reaches for him but he takes a step back and Nia smirks.  
"I'll leave you two love birds to sort it all out. Clarke, the file was submitted to Charamine."  
"Tell me it isn't true,"  
"Bellamy-"  
Her voice is soft fragile and Bellamy can see the hurt and regret in her eyes. She's not denying it, she's trying to cushion the blow and he chokes back a sob.  
"I'm marrying you because I love you."  
Bellamy lets out a sound that a cross between a laugh and a sob, "You never said a word, do you even love me? Ddi you really come back to get inspired or because you figured that if you could get anyyone to marry you in three months it would be."  
Clarke latches ont his arm, her voice deseperate, "I came back because I missed you, I missed everyone but mostly you. When I'm with you I forget about everything else. You and Madi are the most important things in my life."  
"More important that your career? Than the desigsn you submitted, that my daugther modelled all in exchange for a ring on your finger."  
She's losing him, she can hear it in his voice, in the way he looks at her.  
"Bellamy please."  
"I hope you get picked, I hope it's all worth it. It's everything you dreamed of and more"  
Bellamy's openly crying and Clarke cups his face trying to brush away his tears, she's crying too. "Bellamy please we can fix this-"  
"Fix this? There is nothing to fix. None of this was real. You don't even love me."  
"I'm marrying you cause I love you. I'm here begging you to talk to me so we can fix this because I love you."  
He takes a step back, putting distance between us, "If you really loved me, you would have told me."  
They look at each other, both of them heartbroken for different reasons, around them they can hear people cheering and fireworks start to go off.  
"Happy new year."  
Bellamy turns leaving her alone on the balcony.  


* * *

**Three months later**  
It's been three months since what was supposed to be her wedding day. It's also her last day of work.  
Losing Bellamy and Madi, and the rest of her friends, it had hurt so much worse this time around.  
She couldn't sleep or eat and Bellamy wasn't taking messages.  
Everyone knew what had happened and Raven had taken to non-stop gloating.  
Clarke started to hate her job so she poured through her contract looking for something, anything that would let her leave.  
In the end, she sold her car, her apartment, moving into Roan and Luna's guest room and she swallowed her pride and accepted the check that Roan and Josephine wrote for her.  
She wasn't sure what would happen now, she's got a few offers but she would have to start over in a new company, her reputation following her. But she couldn't work for Nia anymore.  


Clarke is glad that the rest of her co-workers are kind enough to give her space as she packs up. She doesn't have much left, most of her stuff already gone.  
She gently unpins the picture of her and Bellamy and Madi from her board and looks at it. They look so happy, Clarke in a simple purple skirt, small sunflowers on the hem, Madi wearing a dress with embriodered sunflowers on it. Bellamy's looking at her, love in his eyes and it hurts.  


"So this is where the magic happens."  
Clarke spins around and finds her face with Dioyza, who is no longer pregnant.  
"Dioyza, what are you doing here?"  
"Came to find you, I've got your wedding dress."  
"Don't need it anymore. You need a partner, and well I don't have one of those."  
"You have one, you have me."  
Clarke blinks, jaw dropping, "Excuse me?"  
"I want to make you an offer, nothing like this. The pay is low but I think you will be happy. I want to offer you a store, you have a talent for wedding dresses and for little girl dresses. People will pay good money for your designs."  
"I've only made one wedding dress..."  
"You made three, Josie's, yours, and the one for your final exam. You have also successful made a line of children's dresses."  
"What are you talking about, I never heard back about my drafts."  
Dioyza grins, and holds out a hand, "Charamine Dioyza."  
The picture in Clarke's hand flutteres to the ground.  
"No way."

'Well, what do you think? Partners? No husband required, although there is a bookstore owner and a little girl who misses you terribly."  
Clarke chokes back a sob as she shakes her hand.  
"Yes."  
"I'll have Shaw draw up a contract with you. You will need to move back, I have a guest room you can stay fror now as long as you don't mind a screaming child."  
"This whole time you knew who I was? "  
The older woman shrugs, "Shaw and I both did, we thought you had potential, of course if I knew that Nia wouldn't send yours drafts unless you were married, I would have poached you a lot earlier."  


* * *

Everyone is buzzing about the new store opening, no one is sure what it is but everyone's excited.  
Everyone but Bellamy is.  
Since the almost wedding he has played every moment with Clarke over and over again, looking to see if he missed a sign, if she was faking it.  
He had told Madi that Clarke had to go back to work and that she would back soon. Madi had been devasted but Murphy and Emori were great at helping him with her.  
Some days Bellamy wanted to reach out, talk to Clarke.  
Roan had stayed behind to tell him that he was the one who suggested that Clarke leave, that Clarke had come to Arkadia because he suggested it.  
Roan had yelled and pleaded on Clarke's behalf trying to tell Bellamy that Clarke loved him that Clarke felt guilty about it all. It was nice to hear even nicer to read her texts but it would have been better to hear from her. She has left town the day after it all went down with the rest of her co-workers and Bellamy had to tell everyone that the wedding was off.  
A work emergency, he wasn't sure how to tell everyone the truth of what even the truth was.  
Clarke and Roan had both gone on and on about how horrible Nia could be and how Raven had purposely sought him out. Luna even dug out her own messages to show Bellamy that Clarke had debated on whether to tell him and what the best way was.  
It all left Bellamy confused and he wants to reach out talk to her but everything her name flashes on his phone, he stopped himself. Eventually it stopped flashing.  


The store is pretty, big display windows, white curtains, brightly colored flowers. But what catches Bellamy's eyes int he name of the store- _Aurora's_.  


That night when Madi is asleep he opens up his laptop and looks up the store's website.  
_Aurora's_ _I knew a woman name Aurora, who worked hard and tiredless until it killed her. She worked hard for her children. She was there for every important moment of theirs and for everyone of mine. She made time for us, she taught us.  
She taught me.  
She taught me how to backstich and how to sew lace. She taught me how to embrioder, she taught me to work with silk, how to find the best fabric for the best price. She taught me the importance of working hard but also making time for the things that matter most- love, family, and chasing fireflies.  
This store is in honor of her, because with her, I wouldn't be here.  
I look foward to seeing you all at the grand opening. _

* * *

Clarke lets out a soft sigh as she looks at the skirt in her hand, she has fond memories of this skirt- besides it being the first time she worked with lace, it had been the skirt that she had on when she finally slept with Bellamy.  
Clarke had been eager to show Bellamy her skirt, wanting him to see the lace she had added to the hem. Bellamy sat on her bed, head bent, the hem in his hands as he looked at the stiching, "This is amazing, the stitches are perfect princess."  
She looks down at him and suddenly she's aware of his fingers rubbing her skirt, she's aware of how close he is to her.  
"Bell-"  
He looks up at her, brown eyes curious, the freckles on his cheek calling to her. So she cups his face and kisses him. His fingers drop her skirt and instead wraps around her waist pulling her onto his lap and he falls back onto the bed and she braces herself, hovering over him.  
His hands slip under her skirt and she leans back down kissing him, grinding against him.  
Clarke shakes her head at the memories, it's hard being so close to Bellamy but also so far. She wants to see him and dreads it at the same time.  
The Grand Opening is tomorrow and everyone will know that she's back.  
She's not sure what to expect- a riot, to be chased out of town.  
"You named the store after my mother?"  
Clarke spins around to see herself looking at Bellamy.  
He's got a beard now and the glasses on his face don't cover how tired he looks.  
"Well I couldn't call it Bellamy's and your mother- if she hadn't answered all my questions when I was a kid abotu sewing and then later had you teach me and then teach me herself, I would't be here, I wouldn't gave the career I have."  
"Why did you come back? Thought you liked the bright colors and bold patterns and the hustle and bustle."  
"I rememebered how much I liked working with people, seeing them touch the fabric, seeing them gasp over the design, talking to them to make sure they get what they want. I was tired of my studio, I wanted to be here.  
"Here as in Arkadia or here as in the store."  
"Both.  
Bellamy picks up a lavendar dress, a familiar green dragon on the front, he thinks that Madi will like it and takes a peek at it's size when he notices the label. _Lovebug_  
"You named the label after my daughter?"  
Clarke can't tell if he's angry or in awe but she nods anyway. "She's the one who drew the pictures."  
That's why the dragon looks familiar. Bellamy looks at the other clothes, it's Madi's drawing, her smiling sun, the odd shapened crown. But some of it is also Clarke and Octavia's old drawings.  
He swallows hard and turns to look at her.  
She looks pale, a bit thinner but she's still beautiful as ever.  
Bellamy wants to touch her, he wants to kiss her, he wants to hug her.  
"Clarke-" He reaches for her, pulling her into his arms and lets out a soft sob that she returns. He feels her lips on his neck and he takes a breath, letting the smell of apples hit him.  
He's hurt and angry but underneath it all he loves her still."  
When Clarke pulls away he presses a hand to her back, keeping her close.  
"I-I'm glad you are home."  
Clarke looks up at him, eyes soft, her hands on his chest.  
"This will always be my home. You will always be my home."  
He brushes his thumb over her cheek and it gives Clarke the courage to continue. "I should have told you the truth, what Nia wanted. I should have told you when I first saw you, when I first kissed you, and definately should have said soemthing when you asked me to marry you. I was scared, I wanted it all- the family, the career. But I realized that I lost myself- I lost the drive I had, the morals I values. Everything I got back when I was around you. You said once that you didn't belong there and you are right. You don't. You are too good for Azegeda, too pure, too kind hearted. And I can still have it all-the job, the family, me. Your mom was right when she said that the having a job you love and a home to go back to is the best thing in life. My apartment was never a home and years at Azegeda, I stopped loving it until I came here- until I came back home. Until I came back home to you. "  


Bellamy kisses her softly, gently, and Clarke sighs into the kiss. He pulls away and rests his forehead against hers.  
"It's going to be a while before Octavia trusts you, before Madi, before I do."  
I'll wait another decade if I have to."  
"I don't think it will be that long."  


And's he's right. Three years later, she finally wears that wedding dress and he cries when he sees her, just like Aurora knew he always would.


End file.
